Topic Tuesday // What can you do when a loved one doesn't want help? // Tues 22 Oct, 7pm AEDT

[Former-Member]

For this event we have special guest @Former-Member who is the Manager of the SANE Australia Help Centre and supports the counsellors both clinically and operationally. @Former-Member has extensive experience as a counsellor in the Mental Health sector and has worked with both people whom live with mental health issues and their carers or family and friends.

We will be idea and knowledge sharing around tools and reflecting on feelings that can come up for you as the supporter/loved one/carer and balancing your own wellbeing. 

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEDT monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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[Former-Member]

Welcome everyone! A big hello to those that wanted a reminder 👋 @Elle7 @Former-Member @jn27 @Suzanne101 @CheerBear @Adge @Shaz51 @Teej 

In tonights Topic Tuesday we are looking at how we can help someone who doesn’t want help and ways we can manage our feelings around that. We are super excited to have special guest @Former-Member with us, who is the Manager of SANE Australia Help Centre. Tonight I will be putting out questions to both Daphne and everyone who comes along tonight to share their own insights and prompt a community discussion.

For those that are new or watching, please feel free to get involved – this is a safe space, judgement free. If you are looking for specific advice that you don’t find in this community discussion you are welcome to start your own thread in the broader forums area after the event for more peer support.

If you are having trouble at any point and find that you feel triggered by this topic, please engage in self care and reach out to a helpline - there are a few listed when you scroll up at the right hand side of the page 😊

With all that said and done, I’d like to welcome @Former-Member  to introduce herself and while she does that, it would be great to hear what brought everyone here tonight?

[Former-Member]

Hi everyone!

I am a counsellor and have worked extensively in the mental health sector. I have provided telephone and face to face counsellors to carers and families and facilitated support groups for family and friends of loved ones with mental health issues.

I am currently the operations lead for the SANE HC and am responsible for the day to day running of the centre and I provide the counsellors with clinical and operational support.

I am excited to be in conversation with you about this week’s topic. I have heard all too many times carers and family members express their frustration and concern for loved ones who are not wanting help.

[Former-Member]

Thanks so much @Former-Member! Its great to have your expertise here. Its a little quiet tonight so we might wait a few more minutes before we kick off with the first question 👍

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member no problem, looking forward to the discussion tonight.

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member , @Former-Member 

we have differnent time lines here , it is 6pm here in queensland xx

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 Oh of course, thanks for reminding us of this. Glad you have jumped on early.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Shaz51 and welcome- great to have you with us, time differences are tricky!

Lets get started with our first question hey 🤔

Feelings that can sometimes come up when trying to help a loved one can be around caring versus rescuing. Have you ever considered how you can still care for your loved one without having to save them?  

[Former-Member]

Sometimes you can feel like you are going around in circles and you keep offering support but nothing much changes and your help doesn’t really encourage your loved one to develop there own agency. Whether it’s offering money or doing certain tasks for the person because it’s difficult to watch them not coping. However when you find yourself in this pattern it can become frustrating. You can still care for your loved one without having to fix things or do things for them. Caring and loving them is doing something. Sometimes sending messages of love but also focusing on your own needs can be helpful to your loved one in the long run. Sometimes just asking yourself, What are my needs in this situation? Can help inform the next step you take.

[light87]

Hi there - I'm new, hope I'm posting in the right spot. I help care for my little sister she has severe anxiety and ptsd and its hard when she won't accept my help or go and speak to someone