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Zoe6
Casual Contributor

Reaching for support

Hi, my wife has bipolar and has anger manic episodes. We stupidly just drove a massive distance making a family holiday happen with little sleep. She's now in one. Every time I know what's happening but it doesn't help, is this for real? Is what she saying the truth? Is she leaving me? I'm tired and trying my absolute hardest not to have a panic attack myself (massive fear of conflict and abandonment). Whenever she goes through this it's just hell and I hate every moment 

10 REPLIES 10

Re: Reaching for support

Hey @Zoe6 

 

Thank you for sharing this and for reaching out. I am sure there are many members here on the forums that will be able to help you with some advice on this situation, or share if they have experienced anything similar. 

 

Unfortunately I don't have a lot of experience with bipolar, but I do come from a household where one of my parents used to have very angry episodes (verbally) which has caused me to have a lot of anxiety regarding anger in my adulthood. I've worked through this with others to understand why that used to happen, and what would trigger this in my parent, but one thing that has stuck with me is the fact that they often don't mean what they are saying, and that a lot of what they are saying is because they are hurting and they want you to hurt too. I'm not saying that this is what is happening in your situation AT ALL, but I found some sort of comfort in it knowing that the person that was angry wasn't actually often meaning their harshness to come across at the individual they love, but rather the emotion of anger itself. 

 

Are you currently speaking to anyone about how this makes you feel, or have you tried to communicate this with your partner at all? I ask this because although I think that communication is extremely important, it is a lot harder when you don't know how the other person will react.

 

Here for you and sitting with you through this,

Amber22

Re: Reaching for support

@Zoe6, Welcome to the forums ❤️ It's nice to e-meet you. 

 

This sounds like it's a really tricky situation. And just because you and your partner have been in similar situations, it doesn't always make it less scary.

 

I'm wondering if you have someone you can reach out to speak about this?

 

The SANE drop-in line is also open tonight. If you feel up to it, you could call them or use the web...

 

The line can be really great to help talk things out, or even help with some strategies to calm down a little bit ❤️ 

 

Here to chat if you need ❤️ And I thought I'd tag a few members to introduce themselves and offer any support for you @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Determined 

Re: Reaching for support

Hello and hugs @Zoe6 

 

Are you back home again??

Lack of sleep and being away from their normal environment makes a big difference 

I will tag a few members @Dimity , @greenpea , @frog , @Olga , @pinklollipop15 , @Appleblossom 

AND  we have a thread called Let`s talk about Bipolar to look at 

@TuxedoCat , @amber22 

Re: Reaching for support

Thank you so much for saying and you are absolutely right, she is just hurting. It's just so hard to remember that when it's happening. Thank you for reminding me today ❤️ it's been a tough one.

Re: Reaching for support

Hugs @Zoe6 

And how are you going my friend,  sometimes it is soo easy to forget our own self care too xx 

Re: Reaching for support

That line sounds amazing and just what I need.. I have a great psychologist I have seen a few times but afterwards I am pretty good unpacking and processing, but it's during it I so need to talk to someone. I have lots of friends and family but I feel like if I disclosed these events to them they'll judge her, or just not understand. I really just need someone to remind me I'm not going insane, or she's not going to leave. I am very much going to utilise that line! Tonight she has come back though and I don't want her to see, but I have got her to a pretty good place after a day of explosions and egg shells.

Thank you for your message x

Re: Reaching for support

oh you are so sweet to check in, thank you so much. She's come home and regulated herself but there's a few eggs shells. We just shouldn't have done it, she's trying medication for the first time too and we had to skip it so she could drive through the night so she's just was in all sorts today. Thank you again for checking in

Re: Reaching for support

We are here for you anytime @Zoe6 and remember you are not alone xx

Just a little tip put a @ In front of members names so they will receive your message xx

@TuxedoCat , @amber22 

Re: Reaching for support

Thank you so much for that link xx

 

We got home this morning but she took off and was threatening not to come back, but she has and has regulated herself.

 

Do I need to tag when I reply 😬 I may have stuffed a couple. I am so glad I have found this page/group/ organisation. I have a psychologist I talk to and I have called lifeline during the events a few times, but no one I can jump on and talk to someone as it's happening. I can't begin to express my gratitude x

 

@Shaz51 

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