Lived Experience Forum

[crashcagiva]

I struggle with suicidal thoughts every day, the current situation in Victoria isn't helping.

Earlier this year my business went into liquidation leaving me with substantial debts, it was partly covid related, some bad decisions, little bit of bad luck. 
I picked myself up and started a new business in a completely different industry using funds from sales of some rare vehicles I owned. I got started in February and was going along quite well making some money and working hard. Covid hit late March and shut me down, I hung in there and waited till end of first lockdown, I got going again and was doing pretty well, when Victorias stage 4 lockdown hit. This has wiped me out, I have no money left no income and lots of debt I can't service. I'm looking at personal bankruptcy at the age of 58 and there's no way back from there at my age, I don't like what my future looks like and don't want that future so don't see much point in continuing. 

[Ochre]

Hi @crashcagiva 

I don't think we've met on the forums before and I might just send you a quick email to check in with you that way. It sounds like you've navigated a bunch of challenges with ingenuity and skill. I'm sorry to hear things have been tough. I was concened by your post and your wellbing and I'm going to email you to check in on your safety at the moment.

Please remember that Lifeline and the Suicide Callback Service are both free 24 hr services that offer a safe space in which to receive some professional support at any time.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Ochre

[crashcagiva]

I've just realized the email I originally supplied is now defunct, I've updated with current email

[chibam]

Hi @crashcagiva .

I don't know what to say, aside from the fact that many, many people are in the same boat as you right now; which means that the government will be highly motivated to address the problem and hopefully give you some meaningful help.

One bankrupt business owner in ordinary circumstances can easily go unnoticed, but 100,000 appearing all at the same time is a national emergency that a government needs to be seen addressing if they want to keep office.

[Ochre]

@crashcagiva 

Thanks for letting me know about the email and for updating that. I've emailed you on the updated email address now to check in.

Ochre.

[Meowmy]

@crashcagiva hey there. I struggle with daily suicidal thoughts as well for different reasons. Very hard in deed. My parents were unwise and very interfering, resulting in serious about consequences of my disabled life. I suffer schizophrenia as well. I find that the only way to go on is to do bits day by day. Everyday I woke thinking of suicide. But then I force myself to go for a walk  and coffee. Then it just gets by. Hope you get by and eventually things turn out well for you 

[Aniela]

@crashcagiva 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much to the point of feeling such hopelessness. I too have felt suicidal on a daily basis. I have struggled since the age of 12. I have been fortunate to have had therapy, and learned many skills to help me through. It's important to reach out to a support service, doctor or someone who can help. I see someone has already contacted you via email, and I hope their support was very helpful.

Here are some things which have helped me get through the urges of wanting to end my life:

Called Lifeline, Suicide Callback Service, Made appointment with my Doctor, taken myself to emergency, made Psychology appointments, joined support groups.

Realising these thoughts are just the brain's way of coping, and not to do what my mind says. These suicidal thoughts are just a chemical reaction in my brain. This gives me distance from what my thoughts are telling me. 

Thought "This feeling is temporary, I will feel different soon."

I remind myself "I am very emotional and overwhelmed right now. Taking this action isn't the best solution." (although it may FEEL like it.)

Sleeping or staying in bed until the urge to harm myself is over. 

Doing 20 minutes of very rigorous intense exercise

Splashing cold water on my face or having a cold shower.

I really hope you get the help you need, and I hope this post has been helpful for you. Please look after your self. 🙂 You're worth looking after.