Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Today I feel like life is no longer worth it. I went on to the 8 dimensions of wellness about 1.30pm to say I needed to distract myself....where I noticed Shaz tagged the moderator of my post.  We'll just goes to show how worthless I really am... it is now after 3.58pm and nothing! Not that I expected anything but WTF!

sorry I don't usually swear but I don't give a .... today anyway 

I have tried my best to reach out to my gp. She's said she's happy for me to finish my meds I then reached out to a mental health clinic (believe me this was EXTREMELY difficult)who also have said that I can stop them if I want, it's up to me. I am trying to show them that by agreeing to take them I need help( and anyone who knows me knows I hate taking medication) last week they have ref. Me to Ports I received their questionaire form this morning and I can't cope with it, I couldn't even get to make a password without help. I told my clinic I shut down I can't handle having to fill in forms, to prove how mentally unwell I am I can't handle page after page it triggers me I have freaked out. Phoned ports to cancel the referral. I have a GP who I know doesn't want me to see her and asked a nurse to get me a half hour appts for another mh questionnaire and the nurse asked ""would I like to see someone else"....no I don't! 
I just want to be treated with respect and listened to. There was no need to ask that question and now I have had to cancel this upcoming appointment and I have the stress of looking for some other drs clinic. I just can't do this anymore.

[frog]

I'm sorry @Former-Member 

You deserve better.

I don't have answers but just wanted to let you know that I read your post.

[Dimity]

Hello @Former-Member you're certainly not invisible to me or your other forum friends or your family.  In fact I'd been wondering how you were getting on. 

It's probably been only a matter of time til you parted company with your gp, you've been unhappy with their attitude and lack of care for a while. Staying on meds til you can see someone else seems a wise move. If your current clinic is handy, by all means consider the nurse's offer to book you in with someone else. In my experience the reception staff have a pretty good idea of which doctors are better regarded by their patients and I've had them say they chose a particular doctor for their own families. 

I haven't seen the post you refer to but I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. You've been putting so much effort into supporting your son and his family, please look after yourself as well. Is there anything else happening that the forumites can support you with? 

Love and hugs

Dimity

[Otter]

I hear you, @Former-Member , I'm so sorry its been hard to connect and feel heard today.

Just want to let you know that myself and the Forums team and whole community are here with you.

Would it be helpful to contact a helpline (like SANE, Lifeline or SCBS) today if you are feeling up for a chat? It's important you are able to stay safe and just wondering if you might feel like reaching out if you're up for some instantaneous support, possibly to one of your preferred supports. So glad to see you are here on the Forums posting and continuing to reach out today.

With care and gratitude,

Otter

[Former-Member]

I have stopped my medication on Friday after seeing the mental health people at my home. No point. I was full of hope after they left but now nothing. How can a referral that comes from a mh clinic require a person then to have to prove themselves to be suitable to have 6 sessions. I don't want to dr shop. But I have no choice now. And I know 100% I did nothing wrong. Still nothing from sane/moderators. 
Thank you @Dimity @frog  

i rang the mh nurse who saw me from the clinic to talk but she's not working today. Not giving me a psychiatrist as I "won't be on meds" such a massive joke as that and my aspects of paranoia was the VERY reason why I was discharged the first time!

Anyway, because she has referred me they are discharging me straight away after only two appointments. Again so sorry for feeling sorry for myself...but worthless and invisible is again how I feel.

Had large glass of wine. I know this isn't the right thing to do but I really do feel like leaving this world atm and I just need something to help numb my pain. All this sounds like I am being dramatic but please be assured it is not.

[Former-Member]

My supports?? 

[wellwellwellnez]

I see you. And I know a little about what it's like to struggle with coming up with the right care contract. Hopefully it's just you and me and everyone else is fine. No. No. That's not gonna be a thing.

I can see that you're making real effort to take the control and to give the control. In situations like these the best I can come up with is either different language or different people (or a combination of the two).

Admin is hard. Deliberately hard. That's on the bureaucrats. That's not on you. It can be empowering though. The right jargon can give the system a proper kick along. I remember once my internet kept going down. Calling them didn't help. Emailing and using the words "failure to provide service" got the internet fixed pretty quick.

[Dimity]

Hello again @Former-Memberyou could try the SANE Helpline... they should be open another nearly 3 hours, and other forumites have said they're very good. I'll still be around as well, and my cat and I will keep you virtual company. Is there anything on iView or SBS On Demand that takes your fancy? They're my go-to, I don't have Netflix or the others. 

If I'm feeling overwhelmed I sometimes listen to Bach or Vivaldi, they're so logical and comforting.

Love ❤ to you and your husband

Dimity

[Former-Member]

@Dimity @wellwellwellnez @Otter @frog 

Dimity thank you and your cat 🌺 the sane help line chat wasn't and isn't available. We only have the one phone between us so calling helplines is too hard, eg... What do you need the phone for?  I don't want him to know where my head is at.  We don't have Netflix or Foxtel either.  I hope I will be asleep soon, drink makes me tired. I have run out of sedatives to calm and stop the tears hence the wine. Thank you all.

[Dimity]

@Former-Member I hope you sleep well and wake refreshed. It's good that you've reached out on the forums, but the timelag between us isn't as good as a real conversation. 

I've just had 3 days preparing for tomorrow's medical procedure and look forward to having it behind me. The changing covid situation hasn't helped. I can understand WA's caution in opening up. The constantly changing precautions and restrictions here are very hard to keep up with.

Stay strong @Former-Member. I hope this crisis passes quickly. Here in the south-east Spring is springing and the weather is warming and there are signs of better days ahead. I hope the south-west is similarly promising. 

Cheers

Dimity