Scared & nervous 💗

[StanD]

 

  

What is it?

How to practice?

Becoming self aware.

Loving myself enough to let myself be sick.

Trauma 

Complex Post Traumatic Syndrome

It Does go away.

Church. Message of God. 

God wants me to love people for him/her. I have a purpose. I don't know the whole way. God does.

Listen to sounds around me, don't stay in head

Try replacing sad thoughts with positive things I have achieved.

It's ok to feel awful. I have been through lots. There is nothing wrong with me. It is not my fault.

The things I was taught growing up, are wrong. I am allowed to be as kind to myself as I want.

What is kindness?

What things can I do for myself to show myself, I care?

Look at things from outside. How would I help a friend who has been in horrible car accident.

Would I have high expectations that they can still function normally?

Give self time, gentle, soft. I don't have to do anything I don't want to.

I don't have to be anyone I don't want to.

I don't have to compromise any part of me to fit in with others.

I might not always get it right. Though I am a good person & I will learn. I don't have to put myself in uncomfortable situations to please anyone else 

This is my life. I only get this one. True, it is a complicated mess & I need lots of support, - that does not equate with being incapable. At times I can feel very incapacitated. I can ask for help. I can get support. It is my life. I can make good decisions that support me.

Listen to body.

It's ok to rest. 

There is nothing I am doing, that is 'wrong.'

Have Self Compassion for what I am experiencing. What I am doing is not easy or fun. My body & spirit are strong. I want to heal.

My goal is health. This has been living in me for 46 years. I feel awful, but this is most healthy I have ever been. That is good sign. Body, soul is healing itself.

xx

[StuF]

@StanD 

Keep going!!!

(I was going to write more, but that pretty much sums it up)

[StanD]

Wish I could write more too. 

Hello @StuF 

And anyone else having a read.

How about, 

'there is no I in team '

That is as profound as my brain could manage right now.

PS quick hello to Apple @Appleblossom we have not connected (on here) for ages. I hope things are going good for you & your son.

[StanD]

@StuF I am honoured that you read, & responded.

[StuF]

@StanD 

I'm just glad you have somewhere to share 🙂

[StanD]

I don't feel worthy @StuF At All. I know I need to work on this. The people on here are so kind & generous. I never knew so many people could be trusted. I need to learn self love.

I can recall moments from my childhood like it happened 5 mins ago. Intense feelings of self hate. Something in me broke. I need to go back there, & let her know that I love her.

[StuF]

I suspect you are on a long journey back to her @StanD 

But at least you have the people of this place to travel with you