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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Relationships & mental health

I’m seeking support for where I am at at the moment.

 

I came across a discussion re:- why stay in a relationship? for carers and I need help and support from the opposite corner.

I suffer from mental illness, I have been diagnosed with various things over the years and was unfortunate enough to have a break down of sorts with psychosis. Perhaps bipolar??

For as long as I remember I was manic and since my break down and seeking the help of professionals in the way of phyc and meds my life is much more on a level now.

I have come to except my mi & the limitations it puts on me.

The biggest problem I have is fatigue, I have lupus which isn’t easy to live with on your best days.

School holidays is difficult for me I have 2 kids 2 & 8, they are beautiful but bounding with energy and I tire out trying to tire them out.

After a couple of busy days out of the house with them I fell in a hole & spent the day resting.

I got meals done, washing & dishes but resting in between.

My partner sees my resting as “lazy” drives him up the wall because he’s lived with me manic our whole relationship until the last 18 months.

I have come to accept myself but I feel he fails to accept me and continually puts me down He is a workaholic ( mind you on his days off can watch tv all day) & has the energy of a machine in my opinion and just can’t accept how tired I get.

A lot of days I feel like if I had more support from him I might not get so tired😓 

I ask my fellow members suffers from mental illness how do you manage with a partner who doesn’t accept you for who you are and is waiting for me to “get better” “ change” be a better whatever it is that we are meant to “do and be” as an at home mum in the school holidays I love my kids but it’s tough !!

I often feel my mental health would be a lot better if I didn’t have someone putting me down all the time.

My partner says I should go & get a job & he’ll stay at home with the kids so I learn what life is really like, I worked before I had my kids 50 hours a week some weeks with lupus it was tough, I was on steroids often but I got to have weekends off, meal breaks annual holidays etc 

I just wish we could swap roles for a month, I think after a week he may just learn to respect and appreciate me a bit more.

 

Thanks for reading my post if you’ve got this far & any messages of support would be greatly appreciated.

 

I have indicated to him that I’d like to leave the relationship if he can’t accept me, he’s responded by ringing around my family to say I’m not fit to look after the kids and I’m losing my marbels re my previous phycosis.

Apart from the pressure from him I am sleeping well & feeling in control of my thoughts but I feel totally defeated & like I’m living with the enemy 🤯

 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Relationships & mental health

Hey there @Former-Member thank you so much for sharing, it's a great first step to seek out like minded peer support so super well done. Also I send so much love and compassion your way, on top of managing your own mental health and raising kids you need to battle with very chronic fatigue I can understand this frustration as you get your head around this.

 

In regards to your partner, some of the actions he is engaging in are very emotionally manipulative particularly the last bit about phoning around your family. It is very unfortunate he doesn't provide you with support and compassion on the recovery journey. Can I ask, have you considered going to couple's therapy with him? Would he be open to this? Also have a look through Relationships Australia there's some great resource to be found.

 

And of course the community is here to listen as well Heart 

Re: Relationships & mental health

Relationships are the hardest thing for me, in my life. So complicated. So unpredictable 😞

Re: Relationships & mental health

Thanks @nashy, you have confirmed my fears re control & manipulation I think it has gradually increased over time so subtle that I didn’t see it happening.

I mentioned to him that , that is what I think he is doing he got so mad.

My therapist started including him a few appointments ago & I had started to trust him again but then he’s started using it against me saying, I can’t say anything anymore because you’ll go tell x, y, z.

If he was being a nice person however this wouldn’t be an issue.

Thanks so much for your support this is the only place other than my therapist I have spoken about it, because he is so painfully nice to me around family.

I’m hoping I can get a house & financial support organised sooner rather than later.

 

Re: Relationships & mental health

Unpredictable is so right, fine one minute up in your face & fireworks the next!!

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