Lived Experience Forum

[JourneyG]

Dear fellow travellers,

thanks for the chance to vent, think and share in a safer environment than my workplace has proven to be. I work (or I think I still do) for a large community organisation as a support worker and had an alarming experience with a new client who was horrifically verbally abusive, I only just avoided his physical aggression and did all due reporting etc and hoped the incident would not lead to further emotional trauma. But it did.

My CEO posted a video on ruok day and invited responses, which I did.

in a polite, calm and controlled way I briefly shared about the highly triggering event a week prior that I did not receive any help with. ..no debrief, follow up etc. so my answer was 'NO, I really am not and that is not acceptable'.

Wiithin hours, my reply was removed and I had head office on the phone.

Management, after promising support and understanding (I reported my mental health journey from the very start and assured them I would always speak up early if I felt an episode coming on) nothing happened for a week. In that time I spiralled down, couldn't sleep, catastrophised and put in sick for shifts.

I am convinced they are waiting for me to crack and quit.

Nobody is negotiating, supporting, recognising my contributions..... I feel unseen, unheard and unwanted.

Typically, the verbal responses I received from my direct boss were: you need to expect this in our industry/ you need to develop a thicker skin/ Dave, Mary etc are coping, why can't you?

I woke today with the darkest of thoughts and don't want to succumb to the deep places I thought I had recovered from. Don't know what to do next.

I just want to survive this.

[Former-Member]

Hi @JourneyG, thank you for sharing and welcome to the Forums community! 😊

So you know, when you reply, you can tag other members by typing the "@" symbol. A dropdown menu will appear with members who have recently replied, or you can start typing their username and click on their username when it appears 

Wow, I am so sorry to hear what's been happening at work for you! I can really hear the awful impact it's had on you. You deserve better - you absolutely deserve support after being exposed to abuse at work, and it sounds like they're just not prioritising that. It sounds like it also might not be taken seriously enough in the future, given it sounds like they're trying to normalise the experience as "just part of the job." It might come up on the job, sure- but situations like that should be actively minimised or prevented where possible, and if it does happen there should be appropriate support 💐

Your mental health is so important, and it sounds like you've done a lot of work in your recovery. It sounds like this workplace isn't doing good things for your mental health

🌻

[JourneyG]

Thanks.

I suspect you're right....I just have so much invested in the clients and hope to continue but have doubts that 1) I can be strong enough and 2) that I'll ever shake the false tags of 'weak', soft, unreliable etc.

now I wait.....

[SmilingGecko]

@JourneyG I am very sorry after everything you have gone through to get to where you are is causing you trauma.  I don't think these agencies are genuinely inclusive, they tend to reinforce the very things that they are trying to eliminate from the planet.

They are deeply bipartisan, divisive and predjudicial and don't accord equal rights to the mentally ill.  Its such a shame that someone such as yourself who has recovered and educated themselves winds up in a tenuous situation that is creating so much suffering because of bigotted top down approaches. 

Its unfortunate this has happened to you given you given your performance on the job.  Its not fair but they may be trying to protect their bottom line given that they may suspect you are not right for the job.  Personally I don't think the mentally ill can please anyone despite honest self evaluation and a dedication to healing others.

Which capital city are you located in?  I do know of a NDIS company in Adelaide run by a lady with mental illness who has disabled peer worker employees.  Its non discriminatory.  I don't have any other leads but if you want her name I can supply it.  I wish there was something I could do for you.

I think right now you just need a bit of an emotional detox. I use a selenite wand crystal to detox my aura and body each evening. Its an easy practice.  Its one of the highest vibrational crystals and can makes me feel brand new eliminating all the yuk emotions.  Once I've held the crystal for 10 minutes I put it on my nightstand so I can enjoy deep sleep.

Sometimes I do a Taoist technique off you tube to do a review of my day to release trapped emotion from my organs.  Mantak Chia is the Taoist dude that promotes this technique on you tube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDRUTbQNkJM Its called how to release negative energy. When I've done this technique after a difficult day I can always sleep as my body is cleared of trapped emotion.

Thats about all I can think of for now  Do some self care and don't place demands on yourself. If you want the contact lead for the NDIS agency in Adelaide I can provide it for you.

This will pass.

Please be strong!

S.G  xxoo

[Appleblossom]

@JourneyG 

Re the title of this thread.

I am glad you do care.  Sounds like you know that not all clients are like that.

Some "in the healthcare services" do care, beyond bringing in the bikkies. 

Some do not.

I had to give one overdefended aggressive female support wkr the flick, and am very pleased with a gentle, person of colour and opposite gender and religion.  Is there such a thing as opposite religion? Sometimes there is too much polaristion in current debate.

Welcome to the forum.

Apple

[Eve7]

Hi @JourneyG and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you had this experience while working and then to have it exacerbated by management is inexcusable.

You have a right to be safe in your workplace  and whatever a person’s disability there’s no excuse for you to be subjected to this. 

Does the client have a positive behaviour support plan with strategies that you can implement to stay safe? I would hope you can receive training in this.

As for management, if you saw the recent series “Ms Represented” you would be aware of the appalling behaviour taking place in Parliament. If they are our leaders it’s little wonder every organisation in this country is following suit!!!

Take care and stay safe.

[JourneyG]

Thank you. That is really kind of you. I'm in QLD. I do have some crystals that I use as part of my mindfulness meditations. I have been following all the procedures and policies etc but always feel I have to be better than the rest just to be equal- if that makes any sense.

[JourneyG]

Glad you have found a good fit for you. Blessings to you Apple.

[JourneyG]

Thanks @Eve7 

I supported the new client's transition from long term hospitalisation and things were going nicely until he had a psychotic episode and I bore the full brunt of it.

I just wasn't able to cope, it sent me into a spin from which I couldn't recover.

but yes, there are huge holes in his PBS - we can't foresee every risk but sadly, there are large financial support plans in place and they trump worker health most times.

[SmilingGecko]

Makes sense @JourneyG 

As for having to be better its true. Women and people of color have bore the brunt of this right through history.  I don't know what you do about it. I wish I could tell you how to deal with it but its an inducator of not valuing someones energy enough.

Another crystal I thought of was fuschite -

It helps you to build emotional, psychological and spiritual strength.  It makes you strong in the face of negative circumstances and to recover quickly from such incidents