RE: Darkness surrounds me

[Faith-and-Hope]

Our story is very different @Former-Member, but I have had days and weeks like those, when WH was going away for a few weeks at a time, but he was far more aggressive that he is at the moment when he was here.  Every time he left my days turned into journeys between Bed Island and Chair Island, apart from having to go do the shopping, and taking walks by the river when I could find the energy.

I would run raids on the housework just to keep things functional ..... with no back-up .... I was it.  

Our situation is still chopping and changing.  I have less Island-hopping time available at the moment, because it’s harder to find the privacy to do that without further issues coming from it.

[Former-Member]

I have read some of you story @Faith-and-Hope on the carers forum and it seems you are doing the best you can under difficult circumstances and are trying to keep your family as one. I think you have shown great courage in pushing forward for answers and not taking no for an answer💗

Since my CSA has only resurfaced not long ago, I am still in the middle of having new flashbacks mixed with reoccurring nightmares. How long this will go on for, who knows. And know with the side effects of the new meds I feel like I am in an ongoing nightmare with no way out. It is taking every ounce of strength I have left not to put a stop to it all. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I was just emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, confused about where to find help and what to do in the meantime ..... no instruction manual came attached ..... but I have not had the sh and si battles that you do ..... 

Hearing you @Former-Member ..... sitting with you ..... believing in you ..... and jus5 wanted to let you know that I ha e done the doona-camping part of it too ..... it’s what my kidults are still doing now.

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope Well I am glad you have found the support you need on here. You have seemed to have made some great forum friends on here. And I know also that you watch over so many of us too. 

The sh and si battles are not something I am proud of and try and hide so much from my family in relating to this as I do not want to worry them. The SH feels powerless to stop at times even with using my safety plan. 

I have taken some meds (I won’t say how many) that should knock me out and hopefully give me some relief tonight. Thank you. @Faith-and-Hope For sitting with me tonight and the welcomed advice. I hope you get some sleep hun. Good bye @Faith-and-Hope and tomorrow is a better day 💖

[Faith-and-Hope]

Goodnight @Former-Member ..... I hope the meds help you to get some restful sleep.  Please take care .....

♥️

[Former-Member]

Crap even with the meds one stilll I slips through. Just over all this fkn crap. I want out now

[greenpea]

@Former-Member Just saying hi to my lovely NellBell hoping you have gone back to a restfull sleep ...

Love to @Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@outlander@Sans911 wishing you all a calm and peacful Sunday xxxxx

[Former-Member]

@greenpea Hi my little green pea. Thank you for always checking in on me💖💖

i did end up getting back to sleep (more meds) so feel very groggy at the moment. But I actually got up without feeling dizzy so I’ll take that as a win!!! Might try for a bit more sleep if I can and am even going to push myself to go sit outside today. We have a lovely outdoor area overlooking some beautiful mountains so will sit out there and if I can get my headache under control, might even read for a bit.

i hope you have a lovely day my little thoughtful favourite green pea. Luv ya ❤️❤️❤️

[greenpea]

@Former-Member Love you too NellBell. Will always check in and see how you are going. xx

[outlander]

Morning little @greenpea ❤❤