Not Coping

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 mm it can be annoying, I also have to on occasion reassure people that I am actually okay - because my crying response is so sensitive, I will cry a lot quicker and more intensely than others might at the same level of emotional dysregulation. So I've had people want to drop everything to comfort me and I'm like 'no no, I'm not actually as upset as I seem to be' 😅

Embarrassment at crying in front of your psych... because you're worried about being judged? I think if there's anyone that we actually can cry openly in front of, it'd be a person who is trained in being present and non-judgemental. What is the worst that could happen? 

[Birdofparadise8]

Yes, that's the big thing, judgment. I know he won't, but I've had people judge me my whole life, so that could be why. 

I feel I am a long way off to even shed one tear in front of him @Jynx 

[Birdofparadise8]

@tyme have I done something wrong?

[Jynx]

Part of the process of healing is to recognise the ways our survival system tries to protect us based on its experiences of the past @Birdofparadise8 - your wise mind knows he won't judge you, but your survival brain still believes he will. But I think because we are largely experiential learners, the only way to show your survival brain that it is safe is to experience it - i.e. to cry in front of him, and have him respond with compassion. It's okay if that is a long ways off, sounds like you're still working towards better understanding of your emotions and such. Good on you for being persistent hun.

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, that's true @Jynx 

Yes, well, it's like Tuesday was awful, and I could tell him all about that and a few things that triggered me, but if we were to talk about how it made me feel telling him that I would feel nothing and for months he has been doing that to me and challenging me, but I just don't think there is anything there. I hope I'm not broken. 

He said he was going to talk with some colleagues to see what else we could do. I hope he won't want to pass me onto someone else I still find it hard talking to him. 

I won't cope with that. Yesterday, when we were talking about how often to have a session, I thought he was going to say something bad and want to have less, but then he said he thinks weekly, and I was all for that. 

OMG, SANE just emailed me and said they go on postcode. I was told I didn't need to worry about that. The two people who I spoke to said it was okay since I was from Hobart. Now I'm crying. Why can't things be simple? 

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 I don't think you're broken hun, your survival system is working exactly as its supposed to. Issue is that our survival systems evolved to protect us from tigers, not necessarily bullying 🙃

I can't say for sure but I think it's unlikely he'd get you off seeing someone else, more like he's just being resourceful. It sounds like he really cares and wants to do what he can to help! Especially if hes also recommending weekly sessions now. 

Oh dang, that is frustrating! Did you let them know that you'd been previously informed that it wouldn't matter? I hope it works out, and if not you still got forums and can always call the support line. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, tigers, hahaha. 

I do hope so. At least he will be talking to other colleagues, so I'll look forward to our session next week and hope he might have a different approach. 

Yes, I did. I don't know why my postcode matters if I was told it would be okay. 

I know, but I really want to find some peer support, and I don't have many options @Jynx 

[ENKELI]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 how are you?
I haven't been online the past few days, had a bit of a setback and didn't feel up to chatting.

My favourite band is coming to Perth in May and I asked one of my girl friends if she'd like to come with me. I thought it would be great to catch up with her as we haven't seen each other for over a year (we chat via Facebook regularly) and she has decided to invite her 12 yr old daughter to come along. I am a bit disappointed as I wanted to make a night of it, go out for dinner first then go to the concert. I feel like crying because I don't have many friends and she wants to make it the 3 of us. I know I will be the odd one out and now I don't know if I want to go.
I am tired of crying and being lonely 😢

@Shaz51 @creative_writer @Blackbird11 @tyme @Snowie how are y'all?

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @ENKELI 

Can you ask her not to bring her daughter as you wanted time together? 

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 yeah hope so too! 

That is frustrating hun. Maybe @TideisTurning or @amber22 might have some ideas on other peer support services. I did a quick google too, you might have already explored this one so my apologies if that's the case. But if so, you could always contact them anyway and ask if they know of other PS services they could link you to: Peer Support Australia