Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

That's so good to hear @Kyle1 

I hope this med change will be the one you need. A good psych also helps a lot.

It's okay not every day has to be perfect. I know that for a fact. 

[Kyle1]

yeah, I understand that...

I just know how far removed I still remain from my optimal self, I guess. It's been a big descent...

What's happening with you tonight @Birdofparadise8 ?

And how has your day been? 

[Birdofparadise8]

That's fair enough. I hope you get there soon. What is your "optimal self"?

Mmm crying, crying and more crying. Thinking about last Friday and what will happen in tomorrow's session, worrying about my exam that I have on Friday because I haven't been studying, but my motivation has been so bad I haven't even been doing normal day stuff. it's been a big adjustment coming back home. @Kyle1 

[Kyle1]

is there no way @Birdofparadise8 to get a deferment on medical grounds, regarding the exam? ... 

and have you been keeping intouch with your folks, or aunty, as you go through days like today?

[Birdofparadise8]

It's too late now the exam is tomorrow. I want to get it over with. I'm also doing a summer unit and don't want to do an exam on top of it. 

I talked to my uncle briefly on Monday, but he kept saying that it sounded like something to work on with my psych. He was nice about it, I guess. It must be complicated, and I can see you’re hurt by it he said. My aunt, no, she is too busy. My parents definitely won't talk to them. They either think I'm okay, or they know. I'm not okay, and we don't talk about it. I haven't spoken to them about my attempt since I told them. 

It's just easier that way for both our sakes. I have people to help me, and that is all that matters. I still talk to them all the time but about other things.

@Kyle1 sorry I went to bed before I saw your post.  

[Blackbird11]

Morning @Birdofparadise8 

How are you feeling about your psychiatrist appointment today?

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @Blackbird11 

I’m very nervous about it, but also looking forward to it as I hope it will help with what has happened this week.

Also it's my psychologist not my psychiatrist just FYI. 

How are you? 

[Blackbird11]

I hope you get a lot out of it @Birdofparadise8 

Nerves are a sign you care.

I'm doing ok, just gone for a drive south east from where I live. It's beautiful weather here.

[Birdofparadise8]

Thanks @Blackbird11 

Really nerves mean I care? How is that? 

Have fun on your drive! 

[Blackbird11]

"Being scared and nervous means you care, and not only is caring a beautiful thing, but it also means you value the outcome of a situation. However, fear and nervousness become problematic when they affect your performance. Understanding when to adopt and abandon these feelings is an important first step in controlling them. It’s helpful to think of fear and nerves as an outfit you wear before doing something nerve-racking. Don’t try to avoid these feelings altogether; rather, get comfortable with taking the outfit off when it’s time to execute." - Lilly Singh

I think this quote describes it well @Birdofparadise8 

Thanks so much, I hope your appointment goes well 💚