@WIPGlad you got a giggle. Its fine. Its funny and its not. I am serious. I am so driven I live like a farmer, or I am flat on my back. Digging and dividing and watering. I keep saying I have to get garden ready for when summer hits, but why do i do it to myself. I think maybe if I stop then that will be a problem ... so ... who knows. The garden is looking fabulous though, and then I see something and then I get an idea ... atm I am juggling a lot of plants ... that will happier in new place ... cos of sun or shade or woteva ...etc etc ... probably a bit manic. Its my garden and I can if I want to ... Can if I want to ... ??? What else will I do with my time. For a while, 10years ago, I did a bit of the 'stare at walls' and curl up in foetal position.
@Eve7Motherhood guilt is always there. We can never make it perfect. You were only AOL for months. My parents were AWOL for years, and all the kids had different experiences"in care" which were stressful. They both did come back for us and they both did their best. That was obvious to me as a little girl. Mental Illness and trauma are tragic. It is the way it is. My circs are different. My son says I am lucky I have never been hospitalised, whereas I know I should have been and cant quite figure why I was not. SO I was there all the time, but unwell and the kids did see mum wandering around in quite a state for about 12 years. I hoped for good enough, but told recently in no uncertain terms. Not good enough. I approached authorities, eg family therapists etc. They said no need. Assessed kids. Good Enough. Anyway the family has a mixed bag of strengths and struggles and so I try and look on the bright side.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_-q9xeOgG4
