Lived Experience Forum

[ArraDreaming]

I haven't felt this low in months or maybe even years 

I just want to go back to bed and spend my days there 

I don't feel hungry enough to eat so I just don't 

I don't remember when I last went for a walk either just can't be bothered my head feels hazy 

My partner keeps trying to help I get cheered up for a minute after we chat about it but the next day or after a couple of hours again I just feel like I want to curl up and go back to bed 

People keep saying this is normal everyone is struggling in lockdown, yeah ok, doesn't mean I like feeling this way 

Miserable is the only way to describe it 

But why am I miserable when I have a beautiful partner and 2 kids and I have come so far in life 

what a fail

[pamplemousse]

hey @ArraDreaming it sounds like you're feeling in a low space right now and people aren't fully recgnising the depth of how you're feeling right now. It can be really demoralising not feeling understood. It can be confusing having these feelings when we know that we have good things in our lives, but that doesn't mean that the feelings aren't legitimate. 

I'm sitting with you 

[ArraDreaming]

I have gone back to bed @pamplemousse 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @ArraDreaming ,

I absolutely hear things are challenging. Having followed you through your various posts, I acknowledge the life changer covid has been. Some business owners have been pushed to their wits end.

I own a small business as a sole trader and I fall into one of the categories eligible for business support - so that has definitely helped. But I can see how those who do not qualify for support have been affected - esp having worked so hard in a dream business.

Have you contacted any business support help lines? Also, do you have any professional support you can reach out to at this time?

@ArraDreaming , I know it is so difficult now. Hold on. Even if you don't have the energy to thrive, focus on just surviving for now - even for your family's sake.

Ive been in a similar hole before. It's took years to get out of. I felt like I was living to die. I had no sense of self, connection, or belonging. I was dissociated from society. 

Eventually, things turned. Honestly, I can say I'm thriving now. It's doesnt mean I don't have low periods, but now, I look forward to moving on.

With support, I hope you too will find this space.

Im with you @ArraDreaming . You are not alone.

BPDSurvivor

[Dockers6]

Powerful words BPDSurvivor.
Dockers6

[tinyorca]

I understand how you are feeling. I feel the same. I have a partner and 2 kids and feel selfish to think like this but it is impossible to stop it. Please know that it is not just you and there are so many people that feel like you do right now. Maybe we all need to get together and help each other - everyone who feels the same. Maybe then we can all find relief, purpose and happiness. 

[anonymouse_]

Absolutely, relief, purpose and happiness.

[ArraDreaming]

Hi all sorry for not responding after making this post
We got some news this morning that our friends have lost their baby very late on, how can the world be so cruel my issues don’t seem so big now, heart broken

[Daisydreamer]

That is such heartbreaking news @ArraDreaming So sorry for your friends and hope they have lots of support around them these coming weeks

[ArraDreaming]

@Daisydreamer Thanks