Lived Experience Forum

[amber22]

Of course!! ❤️

We value your presence on the forums so much and I am so honoured to be part of your healing journey, or whatever you may be going through in life at the moment. I really appreciate you sharing with us here what you're feeling, and allowing all advice and support in. 

You're doing so great, we're here for you!! @Captain24 

[Jynx]

Not a single ounce of frustration here @Captain24 - I really value the opportunity to be there for you. It warms me to know that we have been able to make a difference for you during such a difficult time 💜

[Captain24]

I just nearly joined nan on her final journey. 😥

I guess I’m not as ok as I’m trying to be. 

I think I should go to bed and try and get my first decent nights sleep since Tuesday. 

[amber22]

Hey @Captain24 I am here with you. It is completely okay to feel not okay. Are you safe? 

Maybe getting a good nights sleep will help you, especially if you haven't had a restful night for a while. 

I'm sitting with you if you need ❤️

[Captain24]

I’m not sure @amber22.

20 mins ago I wasn’t, I just thought it would be easier to follow Nan. 

I’ve had a shower and force myself to go to bed. 

I need to stop focusing on her final moments and focus on the good times. 

[amber22]

That's completely okay, I am really glad that you were able to get yourself to have a shower and wait on those thoughts, I am here for you ❤️ @Captain24 

I do think that it would be a really good idea to try and get to sleep early tonight for you, you have not been sleeping well and that can really affect how you feel. Maybe try and do some winding down with a tv show or a book to ease your mind before having an early night? I hope Pix is with you

[TuxedoCat]

@Captain24, rest up tonight. We're here to talk. Maybe tomorrow you can tell us some of your favourite memories with her ❤️  

[Captain24]

My head hit the pillow last night and I went straight to sleep @amber22. I think it was the relief that the funeral and all the stress of preparing for it was over. Pix was my saviour when it got really bad last night. 

While I did sleep well I’m still emotionally and physically exhausted. I have no motivation and don’t really care to be here. I’m not sure if it’s grief or depression or both. 

Here’s a funny story @TuxedoCat. Nan lived in a farm after she married her husband. She was out in the bush collecting rocks for her garden. She started screaming and throwing the rocks and ran down the hill. She stumbled and ended up rolling down. It was a brown snake. She said ‘all stinking husband could do was laugh!’ 

[TuxedoCat]

@Captain24 heheh that is a very funny story! She sounded like a very brave, hard working lady. 

It could just be a combination of both of those things. But maybe it's not the "why" that's important, it's the "what". It's understandable to feel incredibly sad about someone important passing. I think most of us would something like that for a period. And that won't ease the pain, but you're not alone in it. 

Did thinking of some happy memories and stories help transform the pain a little?

[hanami]

Hey there @Captain24 

It's totally understandable that you are exhausted. Be kind to yourself.

💓