Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Tilda]

I agree with #CherryBomb it can be a long drawn out process until their is a level of trust regarding why you are requiring to attend the appointments.  I also do not think it's necessary to be involved in all appointments, just involved regularly enough to be in the loop and and not to long between appointments so that you could miss key information.

To be honest this can all be very dependant on the illness your wife is experiencing.  My Mum can feel paranoid at times, so I need to be aware that when I am talking with her about appointments, seeing Dr's etc, just having these conversations can escalate her symptoms.  Timing is everything.

When Mum moved in with us she needed to find a closer GP in case of emergency, so we negotiated that we go to one close by however if she ever wants to see her usual GP she does that and I am not involved in those appointments anymore.

In saying all this, I have been involved in Mum's medical management for over 18 months now and she is as well as I have ever seen her and I think even though she was reluctant for me to come along to appointments, I think she now feels more supported and happier.

Tilda 

[Francis]

My son was linked up to the mental health youth team at our public hospital when he experienced his first episode of psychosis. We were given the carer condultants number to call from my sons allocated case worker. The carer consultant works from the public hospital psychiatric ward and is available to all family members or any persons caring for a loved one with a mental illness. We scheduled an appointment with her and as our sons illness was our first real experience with mental health it was very helpful to have her support. The carer consultant shared her own personal family story ( her daughter experienced psychosis whilst working under stress) and she gave us an abundance of information including details about monthly meetings for carers to attend to share stories and support one another, locally run short courses for carers to learn about mental health, weekend accomodation available to carers in need of time out, links to the fellowship of victoria and headspace for our son, drug and alcohol home support, information about centrelink payments and information about legal rights as carers. She gave us a handy little wallet card with the carers legsl rights and emergency numbers.I am happy to pass on the hospital details to any admin person from sane is they would like. I found that there is alot of assistance available for both the person with the illness and ourselves as carers. Most of these services were available to come to our home and work with our son on a regular weekly basis. At one stage we even had one of the psychiatrists attend our home with my sons case worker as they were very concerned about him. Hope this informstion helps.

[Appleblossom]

I was referred to CarersVic when my son was hospitalised late 2013.  The consultant was lovely, but I felt reluctant to make further contact with them, and just put it off again and again. I was busy with many hands on things with son and his situation has improved greatly.

I have found some contact with his counsellors good.  First he was with EPPIC and Orygen ... I was more than happy to respect son's privacy, but to be in the loop and just meet the individuals who were dealing with him was good.  It also gave me something to go on if son mentioned his sessions or the people he was seeing. I had context.  A Headspace person has popped around to the house a couple of times .. but generally son is very private and tries to self manage.

Yet my mother's tendency to keep giving did leave me depleted, so I have valued the referral to CarersVic I received here on the forum .. just knowing I am allowed to mention issues around MI helps .... I am not sure if there are Carer bodies in most states ... it is very valuable.

[Shaz51]

hello @Appleblossom, @BrokenHusband, @Francis, @Tilda, @CherryBomb,

My husband who has Depression wants me to be with him for the appointments , he wants me to say things that he has told me before hand which he forgets in the meeting

sometimes i feel the pressure is on me to help my husband to do what she said during the meeting , and to remind him of things which he has forgotten when we are back home ,

[Tilda]

Hi @Shaz51,
Sounds like a difficult situation. My first thought is how you both can create a better level of support for not only the depression your husband is experiencing but also support for how it is affecting his memory. I am wondering whether the doctor has offered any support? Just wondering whether your husband was able to jot down some thoughts at home and at appointments which may help his memory and give him a little confidence in appointments. It may also relieve some of the responsibility I think I hear you are feeling to recollect certain things for your husband at appointments. Having you as a support person at appointments is invaluable for your husband, having a boundary around what your role is in the appointment may be helpful. For example being at the appointments to prompt his memory or remind him to refer to his notes as opposed to remember things for him may be helpful and leave you feeling less pressured.
Tilda 😀

[Shaz51]

Hi Tilda       thank you for you message , today we had a meeting and we had written down points that we wanted to ask , my hubby was able to look at his notes and give an answer which was great , it was such a good meeting -- we will be doing this again in 2 weeks time

[Tilda]

That's wonderful, you sound much happier and that is a good outcome for you and your husband.

Tilda 👍👍

[Shaz51]

thanks Tilda     , we have a new person today , the last person we had  2 weeks ago said she is  of giving  up on my hubby so my hubby was going to give up too , so i said to wait and see what happens today and we were surprised , so fingers crossed