Feeling lost and depressed

[Fluttershy1]

Hey @GardensHeart - how are you? 

you will have to read back a few pages. 

things are tough. 

im safe 

[GardensHeart]

Hey @Fluttershy1 , 

I read some posts from  few hours back. So sorry to hear things are feeling overwhelming at the moment. 

I agree with Jynx about it's difficult to 'cooperate' when you are not feeling safe and supported. What kind of things or elements you think is essential for you to feel safe and supported? 

How did the Fortnite go? Did you play it? 

I will be here tonight, so let me know how I can help you. 

[Fluttershy1]

Hey @GardensHeart - 

I have my weighted teddy and some other teddies on my bed, just about to pick up my weighted lap pad off the ground. 

Going to watch Netflix and chill in bed, hope not to disassociate or switch…..

Ive been playing it and I’ve been winning yay!!!. Just turned it off as it’s getting late. 

sitting here helps or letting me vent. 

things are hard and I’m feeling like a mistake, burden and a failure. 

im safe 

[GardensHeart]

That sounds nice, you must have a very comfortable bed. I like to be surrounded with soft things when I sleep, stuffed toys, pillows, blanket. It make me feel safe. I'm guess that similar to the weighted teddy and lap pad? @Fluttershy1 

Sometimes people might not understand what you went through or are going through, but some of those people are really trying. We are here to listen and trying to understand what you are going through and help you get through these.

Sending you a lot of hugs~ 

[Fluttershy1]

It is nice @GardensHeart - it helps make me and my environment feel safe ❤️

yeah I know sometimes people don’t understand but my family just tell me I’m attention seeking and that I’m faking it when I’m not. I was in hospital Sunday for an attempt and I got called an attention seeker by a family member and the mental health team….. it’s just tough. People have tried explaining my diagnosis to my family but they just brush it off like I have nothing. They are also very controlling my family they like to know how much money I have left and all of that when it’s not any of there business. 

im safe. 

[GardensHeart]

That must be hard.... Family can sometimes add so much pressure on us.. @Fluttershy1 

[Fluttershy1]

It is hard because I’m also a full time carer for mums mum @GardensHeart - it drains me as she doesn’t listen and she takes things out on me sometimes. 

im safe

[GardensHeart]

Perhaps you need an outlet too. A way that can help you release some of the stresses that you were not suppose to be holding. Can you think of anything that might work for you in this? @Fluttershy1 

[Fluttershy1]

Music @GardensHeart - it’s like my therapy, I can just listen to it and then it helps me. 

im slowly getting sleepy yay. 

im safe 

[GardensHeart]

That's good good to hear~ About music helps you and you are feeling sleepy! @Fluttershy1 

Since you are already in bed, you can just dose off. How nice!