Lived Experience Forum

[Mj90]

My mind isn't stopping again. I can't cope with it all. It's so fast and intense and ultimately i jist feel like a really shitty person.  I tried to get help, but that didn't work out and it's pointless talking to a counsellor because it goes no where (life is too complex and complicated and its just too far gone now). I am sick of being so up and down and dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, ptsd, bpd etc. It's just a downwards spiral that just leads me to these thoughts and urges. I have tried to come to terms with the fact that this is just my life but I know that I have the ability to make it all stop....and that is what I might just do tonight....because I can't take it anymore....there's zero point....I do not have the energy to carry on...I can't keep doing this over and over again...fuck this life...life wins....it broke me....

[rockypug]

Hi @AMjo 

I'm Rockypug

one of the moderators here tonight. 

I'm posting you so you know I am here for you.

I'm also sending you a private message. 

[Messsedup]

I hope you got some help tonight. Hold on. Think about what life really is. Breath in and out and come back to basics. I hope you are safe

[Jynx]

Hi @Mj90 I'm the moderator this morning, thought I'd stop in and see how you're travelling today? Let us know if we can do anything to support you 😊

[David_888]

@Mj90 

Electricity from magnetic pole variations and frequencies [both manmade and natural] go against our head.

We shape these into the subconscious.

The sub, as opposed to dom.

The con, as opposed to pro

The 'suss' as opposed to sense.

They are inherently against us but we shape it as it is.

Everyone has this, not just you. 

You just notice it more.

It has always been a shadow over things.

But when you notice it more you will part the shadow.

Pierce through them.

It can never be with, only an interruption.

That's all they are.

Learn to hate the subconsuss and part the shadow.

[Ct8]

I know how you feel wanted to end it all 2021. Switched Gps and Got better meds now on 3 different ones. Glad to see my beautiful daughter each day still
Glad I didn't let it win still struggling daily...hourly hang in there

[Mj90]

I switched GPs and still no one will prescribe me anything because they don't want to help. It's like they want to see me struggle. It has become an absolute joke....I'm done....there is no hope

[Flotsam]

@Mj90 

If your GP isn’t helping try your local mental health unit. Gp’s are often a good first point of contact but it sounds like that isn’t working. It’s the same with finding someone to talk to, you have to find the right one for you. I am in NSW and I don’t know about other states, but we have a Mental Health Line you can call whenever you need to. They may engage with you to help you get what you need. 

Keep reaching out for help, depression makes us think things that are not true and sometimes we need time and distance to see this. I hope you find what you need to help you cope. Life can be really crap, it can also be really amazing.