Living with Ourselves

[Jacques]

hi @Sophia1 

Oh my mums side is dutch and irish, a bit of a worry, lol. 

wow, your dad sounds very intelligent, i have never figured out how to play chess, to complicated for me.

oh dear, music is one of those things you eather have the touch or not, i never had any musical tallant, they made me use the triangle in primary school, i hadto ring it once and i couldn't even do that. oh well, can't be good at everything.

oh i love vinyls, i have nearly 500 of them, some of them even signed, i have the signed beatles box set and the signed elvis presley box set. 

my dad was a professional photographer, he used to do weddings and had his own photo lab, i used to work ther after school and on weekends. i loved it.

my dad loved music, martial arts, running, sports. he was a heavy smoker too, i don't know how he managed sports wiith his smoking, he tried so many times to give up but couldn't manage it, it must be a european thing. 

im so sorry things are not good with your mum and sister, hugs my friend. 

jacques

[Sophia1]

Hello @Jacques 

Thank you for your reply..

I want to be able to respond when my head is clearer..

I have been struggling since before last friday..

Hence I have been quiet on the forums..

I have an appointment with someone who might be able to help me start getting out more..

I am not sure what will happen..

Getting to the appointment is the first goal..

Will write back to you as soon as I am feeling a bit better.

I want to take in everything about your family.

We do have some similarities don't we..

big hugs @Jacques 

Will write a few words to a couple of others here who need support then log off.

💛

[Sophia1]

Dear @Adge 

I am so sorry to read about all of the messing around that you have had to go through with these courses..

Who are DES?

Sounds like we need to give them a new name...Dreadful endless senselessness..

Sometimes making that which annoys us the most and causes us to be left with the anxiety when not our fault...trying to find humour.....or  turn it into something absolutely ridiculous..helpls burst the bubble..

release the intensity of our emotions..

Far easier said than done..

Dealing with government funded departments is often so exasperating that many people give up.. 

This of course helps the stats as they never have enough funding to help everyone.....and the departments carry on regardless..

I hope that you achieve some sort of helpful outcome for all of your hard work and persistence to date..

Sophia 💛

[Sophia1]

Dear @Clawde 

I read about such sad news for you on another thread..

I feel very much for you as I know how caring a person you are..

Asking for help was such a brave step and such a strong statement for self care also..

@Emelia8 responded with some helpful ideas as well as wise words that it is different for everyone..

We do not know what to say when we lose someone or hear of another's loss..

I have found the least said is the best.

Often the person is in shock and just knowing that you care enough to see them if possible or at least respond with

a few words is enough.

Covid does not help the physical connection side

They will know that you have thought about them and care which is most important for them as well as yourself..

Be kind to yourself and look after you following loss.

💛

[Anastasia]

Hello lovely @Sophia1 💛

[Sophia1]

Good morning @Jacques  ( I started writing my response this morning then noticed the time as I had my appointment for my 2nd vaccination..

I felt very proud, looking after myself and loved ones as well as doing my part for state and whole country.

Chess is a fascinating game that requires strong concentration...much patience and strategy.

Similar to sport..

Younger son learnt to play at an early age and joined chess club at school...after school club

He played soccer first...tennis in summer..  then football ..

He also was part of little athletics where I was on the committee..

Older son played soccer and tennis...started little athletics but chose not to continue.

Older son not as well co-ordinated..

He loved learning the electric guitar at school until the education department changed music teacher...New teached taught in accordance with education system  as opposed to susuki method which son grasped easily..

So another experience of not being heard for him..

I tried private lessons for him but he had lost confidence and interest by then..

Seriously handing you a triangle on a stage without any experience is so very inappropriate..

Any musical instrument needs some explaining about following rhythm ...beat....

ask our lovely @Appleblossom who will reassure you that it was not your  failing at all...more a lack of understanding what the term teaching means..That person clearly had no passion for music..

We all have varying interests and this is part of what makes people interesting..

You have many interests yourself Jacques..

My dad had LP's which I have kept and I have some of my own..

I had his old stereogramme for years which I wanted to convert into something else....Then moving and more furniture allowed me to realise that I could not keep every single thing of his (that my sister allowed...more in did not want herself)..

Your father being a photographer developing in his own lab had a special skill also in the field of arts...

He loved several sports also which required discipline.. persistence..

Smoking is very hard to give up for those who started smoking from a very early age which was the case with many who served in the forces in particular...They were given to those serving free of charge...encouraged to smoke as a way of sharing free time together..

Interesting combination as you pointed out dutch and Irish....Dare I say both nationalities have a leaning towards a stubborn trait??

I love my mum and sister very much despite her controlling 

..We have had some wonderful moments and those I will always carry with me..

She has always been unable to express emotion and quick to temper.

Over the last twelve years she has become more bitter...not had good physical health although was never one to look after her health..

I was aware of treading on eggshells around her more and moreso as time went on...

Life will flow as it needs to...

I have mediated the relationship between myself, mum and her far too many times where they  agreed to accept each others' differences and move forward..

I write cards to my mum..

I must remember to post the last one that I have written mainly talking about the garden, park and birdlife..Of course about our puddytat also..

You have a lovely relationship with your mum...which I  am quite sure that she treasures as much as you do..

My younger son is the same with me...I believe also my older son in his way...He is always terrified that something is going to happen to me..

He told me one day that he wants me to live until 150 years old at least...

Good grief...I told him no thank you...wrong answer...

Here comes the sun..

💛

[Sophia1]

Hello @Clawde

Hope that you are looking after yourself and finding something that gives you pleasure..

What do you like doing?

some sunshine for you

💛

[Sophia1]

Hello @Anastasia 

Hoping that all reasonably settled with your boy now...

Also that you have some time to catch your breath ..

How was the bike ride the other day?

💛

[Sophia1]

Hello @Adge 

I imagine that you are still knee deep in courses...

Hopefully close to finishing and being rewarded with some work..

There are supposed to be so many jobs that are not being taken up..

The employment system or lack of seems so complicated that people do give up..

Good luck 

💛

[Anastasia]

Hello lovely @Sophia1 

Thank you for your message 💛

Bike ride was fun until the bike broke down but bf rode home and picked me up. Luckily with 5km restrictions we weren't far from home 🏡✅🙏

My boys not being kind to himself Sophia. Sleepless night, worry and tears. Wondering today what this life is really all about. Hugs and love and hoping you're ok 💝