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Jake63
Senior Contributor

Navigating a conflict with a staff member as a consumer

Hello everyone, 

 

I want to talk to you about a conflict that I am working through with a company. I cannot go into very great detail, but what I want to say is that I was spoken to very rudely and awfully by this staff member, I was basically told off very rudely and in a way that struck me as being highly unprofessional and highly rude. 

 

As a consequence of this conflict I have spoken to that staff members manager, and the manager did not help me resolve the conflict in anyway at all. I did not feel heard, listened to or understood by this particular manager. I also felt that the manager took sides with her employee, the employee that had treated me awfully. Because the conflict was not successfully resolved with this manager I took it higher still. I spoke to that manager's manager! And unfortunately still, even after having a meeting with this manager the conflict was still not successfully resolved.

 

I feel as though when any of us are consumers of a particular service (whether that particular service be a company providing food, support to people who have a mental health condition, a hospital, a bank, or a library even) they have a duty of care to ensure the safety of the consumers. This is, I think, why places such as the Consumer Affairs Victoria exists! But also, in case you were unaware there is also what is known as the Mental Health Complaints Comissioner (MHCC) I have attached a link below for those interested. At one point I advised one of the staff members I trust a great deal within that company that if this other staff member does anything further to upset me I will be speaking to the MHCC. 

 

It has been very challenging trying to work through this conflict. On the one hand I have very much enjoyed using this service within my local community, I used this service because my best friend has gone away on holiday in Sweden with her family for most of this year, my best friend has been gone since January, 2022 but will be returning very soon! Because the conflict has not been adequately resolved I have been forced out of the support group/service because I feel as though the staff member there is a very unsafe person and makes me feel very unsafe. But with all of this said, I believe there is good news. And this good news is that once my best friend comes back I will be able to re-join the support group because despite there being the conflict that there was I can re-engage the support group knowing my best friend is there and she will make me feel safer, even in the event of another conflict. 

 

One of the biggest reasons why I think this conflict took place is because the staff member that was very nasty to me did not want to communicate with me in a way that I can understand. I am proud to identify as a person who is on the autism spectrum, I see my autism as a super power and I absolutely would not be the person I am, I would not be as happy and loving a person as I am if I were not autistic. Even though I have autism, I am a very loving and very kind person and I am incredibly loyal to the people who treat me with kindness. My best friend and I will be celebrating 10 years of friendship this year in December. 

 

It is very easy to communicate with me, it has been my experience that some people take much longer indeed to learn how to communicate with me, some people get it extremely quickly; everyone is very different. The people who take a long time indeed to communicate with me, I find, lack curiosity, empathy and patience for people who are a bit different. Some people, like the staff member I am presently describing simply bury their head in the sand and refuse to communicate with me in a way I can understand. People like this staff member are wilfully ignorant, stubborn and so much else besides.

 

My psychologist said to me that there are people out there (she referred to them as neurotypicals) that believe that everyone else around them simply think in the same way that they do. In this way these people lack curiosity, she was also right to point out that people take mental shortcuts (cognitive heuristics) and this is to their detriment sometimes. The nature of the group I attend is such that it is a psychosocial support group, many different types of people attend this place. Some people have chosen to disclose their mental health challenges, others not.

 

We are all different of course, but we all have human rights!     

 

 

 

 

https://www.mhcc.vic.gov.au/

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Navigating a conflict with a staff member as a consumer

Hi @Jake63 

 

I'm sorry that happened to you. I think it's great you were able to advocate for yourself and hope that this can be a safe space to talk about it. 

 

Warmest wishes

Hanami

 

Re: Navigating a conflict with a staff member as a consumer

Hi @hanami 

 

I did advocate for myself yes, but this was not very successful. 

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