Lived Experience Forum

[Snoopy08]

I had an outburst yesterday, cause I almost got ran up the ass in my car. ( before this happened I was fine happy, laughing etc) I instantly got mad and abusing the car behind ( nothing aimed at my partner one bit) down the road iam still mad as and trying to calm myself when I partner (and he always does it) stop taking it out on me. I never take it out on him (told him many times), that I yelling and mad with that car behind us, just let me get it out and let me calm down, but no then starts a argument that never ends well. And Iam left  soo messed up in the head, cause he just don't support or get this. He also said iam sick of you using your mental disorder as an excuse.....like WTF I feel sooo lost and down that I want to self harm and I can't get me head out of this black hole today.....am I crazy like he reckons????

[amber22]

Hey @Snoopy08 

I'm sorry that you experienced that, and I hope that you and your partner (and your car!) are okay after being rear ended. Oftentimes I find myself lashing out at the people around me that I love when I am feeling shocked or frustrated. When I don't expect something to happen, I almost always outburst in a negative way to the people around me and it is something that I am trying to work on individually.

What I find that helps me if knowing that I do it, and even if it is an automatic response to the situation, I am still aware that I am doing it and it makes it a lot easier for me to apologise afterwards. When I have cooled down I always try and apologise and speak it out with the person, because it is a part of me that takes over and I don't love it when it does, so letting the people that it is effecting around me know that is really helpful in my journey (and helps them a lot too!) 

All the best,
Amber22