Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

@kayjee ☹️

I am wondering if @Determined  might be able to help you.

[Determined]

Hi @kayjee 

I can relate to much of what you are saying 😕  my wife lives with Borderline Personality Disorder and major depression among other things. We have been married 20 years and have e children.

Darcy articulates things far better than I can but happy to help out where I can. 

I will be offline for most of today but will adrop by later tonight to add some thoughts. 

[kayjee]

Thanks for reaching out. Lets keep the conversation going.

[Determined]

Hi @kayjee  

You can read some of my story here

For our family the biggest thing that hhelped were boundaries as explained in the linked thread. 

As far as feeling overwhelmed and reaentful... Well I am very much a work in progress in that area. As I mentioned this morning I can relate to many of your expressed emotions. A recent meltdown by my wife (aka my darling) which involved violence towards me highlighted just how fragile am emotionally.

One thing that I have to be intentional about is not closing myself off emotionally. 

Self care is really important to achieve this.

My outlet is recently getting a motocycle. 

Happy to answer any questions or just be an ear.  The support I have received here through some dark times has been invaluable. 

[Shaz51]

@kayjee 

 it is soo important to have someone to talk to like @Determined , @Former-Member 

sharing is caring my friend and we are here for you xxx

[kayjee]

Hi @Determined 

Thank you for sharing your experience. I will try and make time for myself. Read a few articles and a couple of bits of advice there resonated.

1. Seek counselling help, as it's quite possible that I'e got carer trauma.

2. Practice mindfulness. Helps keep away the bad thoughts and feelings.

I'l seek help for point 1. I know that I definitely have pentup trauma for a really long time. I'e realised that I' not bullet proof.