Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[perseverer]

Hello @NotSoCrayCray if your wife has a case worker or social worker or whatever you definitely should inform them of what has been happening. They might be able to reach out to her.

The definition of mental illness is the inability to control one's moods or behaviours. MI people cannot just snap out of it. It seems to you that the beginning of these troubles was due to your wife visiting her family in Queensland. But the paranoia was an underlying condition just waiting to be triggered. Your wife is ill, you know that. Very often in MI new conditions develop and the old diagnosis isn't enough any more. 

Words cannot express how very sorry I am that you are going through all this. It is a tragedy. MI can just blow families apart like nothing else. Above all, you must accept that your wife is being governed by an illness more than by rational choices. And continue to move to protect yourself. I hope and pray for your sake that your wife does seek help and gets treatment and works to healing the relationship. But do please prepare yourself for the worst case scenario which is that she will resist treatment and will continue to regard you with fear and suspicion and want nothing to do with you. I hope it doesn't come to that with all my heart, but given the circumstances, I fear that it might.

[Martie]

@NotSoCrayCray, it's been heart breaking reading your posts but I've been so heartened by the wonderful replies from other contributors. 

I know it doesn't change your situation one iota but clearly there are other people who care, and understand. There is nothing more isolating than living with someone with mental illness, so for others to reach out is everything and I really hope it has given you some comfort in your nightmare.

[NotSoCrayCray]

Thanks guys, i appreciate your support.

Every day is different, every 5 mins my feelings change. If shed just come home Id give her a big hug and tell her its ok, we can get some help. At the same time I dont want her to come home because im scared of how she will be. Waiting around for things I have no control over to hapopen is the hardest part, I just want to get this all over and done with. 2 - 3  more weeks till I can move hopefully, then I can concentrate on me again.

[Yuki]

- so sorry to read all this....  I hope things are starting to work out for you.  I feel for you as I feel I am going through the same thing with my partner. I have put posts on here before as well.  The people on here really do care and share a lot of the same experiences as you are having.  Having a mental illness is hard on EVERYONE.  When I met my partner of nearly 5 years now, I did not know he was suffering from depression.  He hid it from me very well.  He worked away so I only got to see him every two weeks.  I guess he was able to be in good spirits for the week he was home.  He was also taking meds during this time.  He stopped taking the meds, stopped going to the doctors etc....his mental health deteriorated.....I tried and tried to help him but to no avail.  We are still going through it.  It is extremely hard.  I don't know what to do either.  There has been man times that I have just wanted to walk out but could not as I do love him.  I am starting to feel the mental strain from al this as well.  It is really bringing me down.  When he is not suffering from the depression he is great! But when he is he does not talk, tells me wants to leave me, to get out of his face etc...horrible things.   I went away overseas for a month as my father had passed away and when I got back he was the loving caring person I first met.  The time away did us both good for the first 2 months then he fell backwards again....not on meds not happy with his job, not in a good financial situation etc....   He is verbally abusive to me not physically...  don't know what is worse...  anyway, I hope things are getting better for you.  Hang in there....  chatting on here is good and helps to release a bit, just knowing you are not the only one going through this.  Keep us posted....  all the very best. 

[NotSoCrayCray]

IM BACK!

Its been a tough few months, but im finally getting my shit back together. Myt partner has still lost the plot. Ive basically given up on her now and am concentrating on myself. Im back in my house and in the process of getting everything setup again.

I feel a lot better now that im in my own place. I feel more safe I guess. Living out of a car and caravan in the old garage was starting to get to me a bit. Especially in the hot weather. You never realize how much you take some shit for granted until its taken away. Just being able to shower and shit when I want again is bloody amazing. 

My internet is spotty at best up here, but ill try become an active member of these forums. It helped me a bit so I feel I should return the favor.

Thanks for your help and advice everyone.

[Shaz51]

Hey hello @NotSoCrayCray

It is sooo good to see you back my friend

Hello @Yuki, @Martie, @perseverer

[Martie]

I'm glad things are starting to turn the corner for you at last. It's great to hear from you again.