Fragile

[Sophia1]

@Appleblossom @Anastasia 

Will respond tomorrow 

always tires me out Carer lunches

driving to new places in hills and getting lost. 
hope operation went well for you ..take it slowly..💜❤️💕

[Appleblossom]

Hugs @Sophia1 

@Anastasia 

Oh dear, thats difficult.  Hope recovery time is not long ... but with the old bod ... it usually is wot it is.

Had a good chat with an 88 year old new friend, who happens to know the old friend who is deteriorating with dementia. 

A mixed bag.

Small blessings.

[Anastasia]

@Sophia1 💛

@Appleblossom 💚

[Historylover]

@Appleblossom I had a breakthrough yesterday with my annotated bibliography - on four articles with abstracts relating to my chosen question: Is obesity a social issue? (rather than genetic) Oddly their definition at the university is different to mine - an issue which prevents the maximal function of society. I'll do it their way. Anyway, I did four articles yesterday and all the pieces just fell into place. I was so grateful because in the morning I was becoming rather bewildered. Two more to do and the the major assignment which includes those and four more.  Really looking forward to it now.

I had understood that your family is dysfunctional but I meant your own. I believe you still have a working relationship with some of your children. That's where we differ - I don't. I don't have anyone. My family is dysfunctional too. It seems to me that most here are suffering similarly - but perhaps it is universal when close interactions of any kind are so fraught with difficulties.

I have been here for thirty years but my ex-psychiatrist told me not to engage with neighbours - of whom I am the only original remaining. I know he will have had many reasons for his advice - my situation is juicy gossip for most and I hurt so much, I need people who have genuine concern for others about me. I had him. So - thirty years have passed and all of the six duplex one-bedroom units on this block are occupied with very young folk.

As for HECS debt, @Appleblossom - if it is of interest, there is no debt incurred with my online OUA course. I was rather amazed as I had heard so many recommend it in times past, but thought it would be out of my reach - financially speaking. I decided I was going to do it anyway. I learned that, for me - as one who will not be  working to earn income from this, that no debt is incurred. I was delighted. but perhaps you will be able to earn the required $40+k required before it is necessary to repay the debt? Anyway - just mentioning it.

Pleased you are able to enjoy your music. I only have my ABC classic radio as musical accompaniment to my life! Would love a musical neighbour.

Anyway - have a good day. I hope all goes well with your appointments. Sending best wishes.

[Appleblossom]

@Historylover 

Good to hear from you.

Ahhh the old nature vs nurture issues.

Obesity as a social issue, but only from the point of view of being maximal to society, is negating the interactional aspect of psychosocial relations.  

I have had the 'its genetic' down my throat a few too many times, re schizophrenia.  I no longer buy it, did more biol than the average, and check the latest from time to time. My bottom line is that Darwin wrote some great books, but the politicisation of knowledge can paralyse the ability to acquire knowledge.

I find these evolutionary biologists more interesting and truthful than Richard Dawkins.  They talk with sufficient nuance, not dumbing things down, or patronising people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm-4HS2khTw 

Regarding living place.  I am also the oldest in terms of length of time.  Yes I can be a source of juicy gossip, it is destructive of possible life outcomes, and am I pretty sick of it.  

Regarding whether i am lucky or not.  Someone on forum recently said I was lucky to have an education.  I did not respond, but she has lost my respect, trust and interaction.  I do not play comparison games and deal with vulnerabilities on here as best I can, overlooking many things and not making cheap shots.  I worked bloody hard for my education. Nothing was handed to me on a silver platter.  It does feel a direct insult and a putdown, but I mostly walk away and let it go.  Its not worth escalation.  

About 10 years ago, I bought an opshop bag with gossip girl on it, as symbolic, of me and part of my social position.

Yeah I know about tax, worked there myself, and also my sister who passed worked there.

I prefer to understand the causal factors for trauma and apparent dysfunction, rather than even overusing the more polite word  'dysfunctional' any more.  

I am presently under extreme strain regarding my children.   I choose to post about the more laid back aspects to also keep forum morale at a reasonable level. If you want to open up about some of your circs, it might help you feel less alone.  Mothers have fractured and fragmented relationships with children is sadly all too common in the current state of society, and maybe part of the solution is not to hide in fear of judgment.  Also, you must know the current mood in Melbourne.  

[Sophia1]

Hello @Appleblossom @Historylover @Anastasia @Shaz51 @outlander 

Appleblossom a stunning garden not average by any means...

Rest and breathe..

Thinking of you at this time..

Historylover, ongoing study is something that brings you great pleasure..

An interest, no different to partaking in sport, music, theatre and so much more...good that you know what pleases you..

Shaz I hope that you are able to have at least 30 minutes a day to do exactly what you want for you..

Outlander,,I hope that your foot is on the mend no matter how slow the process...you have come this far..

I hope that your surgery recovery is going as planned Anastasia.

I myself am still feeling quite drained from this week of medical appointments on 4 days out of 5 days..

For someone who avoids going out unless absolutely necessary..it has felt exhausting..

carer lunch was an ordeal for me just getting to the venue as I have not been in that particular hills town for over 30 years...At that period in time I lived in the city..

So the excursion was new..driving from a totally different direction.

Throw in road works...change as in expanding areas along the way...yes I got lost..

At least I went through the exercise of getting ready...going out...eventually arriving...providing the entertainment as in how can you possibly get lost?

Today I am still  unshowered...currently watching Eckhart Tolle teachings video...

I love his sense of humour..

I have managed to do some non joyous washing and hang that after bringing inside what was already there..

Directed the hose outside of the garden shed to spray over and hopefully water some of the plants at least..

back in side half wet..

Now fold up washing and lay down..

Enjoy your days..relax hopefully..

Sophia 

[Anastasia]

You have done very well @Sophia1 

Rest sweetheart, recharge in your own time. Sending love 💚💛

Love to you too @Appleblossom @Historylover all here 

[Sophia1]

Thank you Anastasia.

Hello Emelia...I have read some of your updates...

I am short on words..

Be gentle with yourself..

I am practising this myself at the moment.

Sophia

[outlander]

@Appleblossom @Sophia1

[Historylover]

@Appleblossom  I don't feel up to a lengthy post at the moment but I will just add this. In my opinion, re: the concept of genetic predisposition to personality disorders - if an ancestor at any level undergoes personality change/damage owing to trauma eg. and it is not treated and cured, their children are going to have their developing personalities shaped by the influence of that parental personality damage.

Like the consequences of foot-binding in the Chinese of old. We grow into the shape of our influencers.

So I say that I consider such personality disorders are more likely the result of unavoidable 'personality misshaping' rather than genetics. The family 'slip-stream.' 

It is certainly a direction I would take in treating a patient - if I was a psychiatrist. When a psychiatrist asks if there is any so-called 'mental illness' in your family, I consider that he is indicating that he is too lazy to look beyond 'inheritance' factors because it is just so easy to say it's genetic.

I say "Phooey!" to genetics. Influences within the  household and extended family govern the development of personalities and their disorders.  And outside factors, of course. 

If brain anomolies are evident by testing - it may be due to how the brain changes owing to how it develops by usage of the personality over time.

And I would also add - which family is not 'foot-bound'. It's just a matter of which binding we are subjected to - in my opinion.

Sending best wishes.