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A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

So sorry for your loss @Emelia8 ❤️

34650F8D-EB27-4600-AF4A-D5AF47D3AEEB.jpeg

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

Sorry to hear the news @Emelia8

It must be terrible to go through what you are going through.

Here for you 💜

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

Thank you everyone for your posts since Thursday  when I had the heart breaking task of putting my little girl Holly into a permanent sleep.  It was her time, and I know I made the right decision at the right time.  The vet confirmed that when he and the vet nurse came on Thursday.  He said he cannot believe she looks as good as she still did or that she lasted as long as she did, with what she had.  But with everything that I told him, he agreed that it was time.  So I feel comfortable with my decision and the timing of it.  But oh my God ... I miss her so very much.

 

I still feel numb, hollow and my heart physically hurts.  Holly was a very special little girl, and I feel happy that she is now in my husband's care.  For a tough, no nonsense, quick tempered man ... he loved Holly too.  And would have been devastated at losing her.  Not as much as me, but almost. 

 

I have been in touch with my psychologist on Thursday, as she had asked me to let her know if anything happened to Holly.  She knows how much she means to me.  She has contacted my several times since then, so that is nice of her.  I was to see her next week, but my upcoming surgery meant I had to move the appointment out by 2 weeks.  

 

I really have nobody left in my everyday life.  I have no reason any more to even get out of bed each day.  Holly was such a huge part of my life, of me.  She was my one constant, and she was always on my mind.  My life revolved around her, even more so since my husband's death last April. I feel disoriented now and everything has changed.

 

I would look forward to arriving home every time I had to go out, because there she would be at the door greeting me ecstatically.  She would go nuts, running around like a little lunatic, her little prancing front legs darting around like a young puppy, and skidding to a stop on the lino.  When ever I was not with her, I would think about her, worry that she was okay, missing her.  She loved going for walks and drives in the car (unless it was to the vet).  Her beautiful big bright eyes would watch my every move when we were home, and she would follow me from room to room. She wasn't a particularly cuddly dog, but she did love to cosy up and snuggle next to me. And when she wanted attention or a rub she would gently tap me on the leg.  She was always there lying next to me at night when I awoke.  And she was a great comfort to me when my PTSD induces nightmares, around anniversaries etc.  She helped to ground me and make me feel safer.  She was such a gentle little thing, but had a huge personality.

 

I'm hoping some of you may like to share with me my tributes to Holly.  I will post a poem I wrote about her 6 years back.  And also some photos.  Please don't feel obliged to respond, I just wanted to share with someone. 

 

The constant rain from Thursday finally stopped and I was able to bury Holly yesterday.  More work to do, but I cant do any more now.  It will have to wait until after my surgery.

 

@Zoe7 @Anastasia @outlander @Snowie @NatureLover @cloudcore @Shaz51 @tyme @BlueBay @Paperdaisy @Jynx @Bow @WIP @Eve7  @HenryX @Clawde @Owlunar @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Peri @Former-Member @pancakes @Faith-and-Hope @Judi9877 @TAB 

 

Please see poem and pictures below.  And help me celebrate the life of the greatest little dog anyone could ever hope to have in their lives.  I miss you baby ... so very much.

 

Emelia 😢🐶💔

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

My Little Dog Holly

(Written 2016)

 

I'd been wanting a little dog, but my hubby said no ... too much trouble.

Then I spotted you one day, in a car alongside mine.

You looked sad and dejected .... the way I felt.

You were just eight months old at the time.

 

A skinny underfed little doggy you were.

As I peered into the window, your eyes looked intently into mine.

Emotional tears caused my vision to blur,

as I considered the unlikely possibility that our lives may entwine.

 

When your owner returned to the car ... we talked,

 and I discovered that something was wrong.

It seems you weren't wanted,

that you didn't get along.

 

I wanted to give you a more loving home to stay.

So I asked your owner if she'd let you go, hoping this wasn't folly.

Yes she said ... please take Tootsie away!

So home we went, you and I, where I renamed you Holly.

 

I worried what hubby would say, when I arrived home with you.

So I drove home feeling anxious, hoping he'd allow you to stay.

But you soon won him over with your enthusiasm and charm.

When I asked if I could keep you, he grudgingly said that I may.

 

So now I had my little dog, whom I could call my own.

You quickly made a permanent home, of our humble abode.

Such a sweet natured and obedient little girl you are.

Though shy and sensitive, your unique personality has always showed.

 

When I'm home alone and feeling vulnerable,

I know I can rely on you to alert me, when someone is around.

Your bark conveys a lot, and I'm able to tell ... whether it's friend or foe.

So there's no need for me to panic, at every little sound.

 

When I awaken in the dark of night,

breathless and shaking in fright.

You crawl closer and snuggle up tight,

helping to 'ground' me, until I can again see the light.

 

When I'm sad or afraid, and unable to prevent tears from falling,

you're always right beside me, pressing your little body close.

As if to remind me, that you're right there and could use a cuddle.

That I'm not entirely alone, and shouldn't feel morose.

 

When I arrive home after being out,

you're always there to greet me, giving your all.

I cannot help but smile,

as your love and devotion is so unconditional.

 

When you look so knowingly into my eyes,

what is it there that you seek?

There are times you appear so wise,

what would you tell me, if you could speak?

 

I may not be here now, if not for you.

You give me a reason each day ... to live.

Your joy of life helps me to view,

life's simple pleasures from your perspective.

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

Frangipani & Roses for Holly's GraveFrangipani & Roses for Holly's GraveHolly Sleeping - Nov 2021Holly Sleeping - Nov 2021036b.jpgIMG_0101b.jpgHolly playing fetch with her favourite squeaky toy, MooHolly playing fetch with her favourite squeaky toy, MooHolly "posing"Holly "posing"

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

@Emelia8 Forever in your heart, forever in your thoughts and forever your baby 🐶💖

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

@Emelia8 Just wanted to pop by and leave you plenty of love and hugs. I am truly sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. I understand the heartache and the hole that they leave behind.

 

I really enjoyed reading as your shared about Holly- it made me smile and I especially liked reading your poem of how you came to cross paths with her and welcomed her into your life.

 

Please go easy on yourself, take the time you need and don’t ever think that just because she was a pet that you can’t grieve a lot. I really hope that over the coming days and months that there will be little reminders that pop up of Holly that will make you smile and not necessarily cry, but remember her for the life that she lives well beside you. 

💕🤗 🐶 

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

@Emelia8  

My friend. Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem. Made me smile and cry. 
I also love the photos you put up. Such a beautiful dog Holley was. 
Sending you more love snd hugs. 
xxxxoooo ♥️🙏💐

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

so sorry @Emelia8  I had to get my cat put down 15 years ago now. She was my main companion for 11 years. I still think about her , but not all the time and in a good way.

Re: A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

I am so very sad for you @Emelia8 but thank you for sharing so much of Holly with us.

Holly was and is one very loved dog who must have thought she’d landed in Heaven the day you took her in.

Your poem and tribute to her are so beautifully written.

You are an amazing lady.

Lots of love

💖💚🤗💚💖

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