An Open Letter
For want of a better place to post this letter
I would be pleased if people offer supporting or, if they wish, contrary comments to this post.
Unfortunately, there are situations that cannot be considered and reviewed, because some material, that might pertain to and assist in a discussion, has been either deleted voluntarily, or by direction.
Such discussion, without all of the relevant material, causes disharmony and uncertainty. This may be indicated by such a valid comment and question, given certain circumstances, regarding who can be trusted. Such a question, or the apparent necessity for it to have been raised and, that cannot be fully and adequately explored and answered, leaves a 'bitter taste' in our hearts and minds, because we can no longer resolve the implied, actual or specific question raised. All discussion has to be based on assumptions, or what is recalled by any person or people, of any post that is no longer available for general perusal.
As I have mentioned before, there have been times when other members and I have had a rocky patch in our interaction and correspondence, but we have looked for, in each other, those qualities that we have, subsequently, liked and appreciated and then steered our course to a much more favourable position. And that, with a new found awareness of what we may consider to be the other person's enjoyable and interesting qualities and characteristics. None of us are without some qualities and characteristics, that may be received and, or perceived by others, as negative, antagonistic, bridling etc., particularly in view of the reasons that we are all here. Yet if we are going to enjoy a constructive community, we have to constructively engage with the other person and, or people, work around those issues, or avoid them altogether.
We are also here for similar reasons to each other. However, each from a background, obviously different in nature and degree from each other. We are in a community where our personal positions are unique, though we may often experience the same or similar feelings, despite the separateness of our specific and particular circumstances. Consequently, there are times when we may choose to retire to a more private 'room' on the thread, possibly established by a “new discussion” thread, where we can discuss our concerns, differences and special issues that we would prefer to keep less open. At other times, we can be in the position of viewing other people's ideas from a reflective perspective, to assist us to know how we might come across to others at various times.
I believe, that these are some of the returns and benefits that we can harvest and learn, from our interactions on the forum. At other times we might respectfully avoid contact with someone else, and leave them to gain what they can from others and provide to others what they can give.
We can, at times, take offence when none was intended, or we can be so brittle, that a minor remark, by someone else, can be taken as a personal insult. While we expect care from other people, we also need to be careful about our own responses and reactions to other people's comments and observations, and the way that they have expressed themselves. It is very easy to be so precious towards ourselves, in perceiving offence received, that we may actually cause offence to others and inflame a situation well out of proportion to any real, or perceived offence. This can particularly be so when we are making accusations without the availability of supporting material, particularly when that material has been deleted. Sometimes, it may be better to stay quiet, so that other people can enjoy the use of the forum, without feeling as though they may have been accused, or not knowing if an accusation is directed toward them, or others, with whom they may have a sound relationship in forum correspondence.
With the wish that we be as open as possible in our communications, but also be careful about how we react and respond to what others have said.
Best Wishes
@HenryX
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN