Lived Experience Forum

[eudemonism]

Ok thanks @Scout now i know I'll keep that in mind. I did think this. But also thought their pushing me away...

I try to be as respectful and considerate as i can toward all people in the mental health line of work. Because i know they're just people with their own lives and woes.

What it boils down to. Is myself being rather overwhelmed with 'everything ' and being stuck... and feeling i need a some support to point me in the right direction...

[Sophia1]

To everyone else who has tagged me elsewhere...I thank you sincerely,...

I am not able to spread my wings at the moment..

I think they must be a bit wonky and twisted...along with the rest of the body and mind...

I do very much appreciate you thinking of me...

For now I send you all warmth...invisible support....arms open wide .....

I am feeling your presence

💛💜💚❤🙀

[eudemonism]

Nah it's fine @Appleblossom tag me as much as you want. I think I'm still trying to come to terms with everything and struggling to make away forward. Alot of my time is dwindled away at home-alone. A toxic combination really... a whirpool of thoughts and emotions... it's not good...

Sorry about my snappy reply before. And i think you may have mention having family members and a partner with a diagnosis. I vaguely remember.

[eudemonism]

Thanks @Sophia1 really comforting to read your writing... it sounds like everything has become easier to manage... I'm glad about this... it's hard with mental illness because there is good and bad episodes of each day, week, month and year + the progressive deterioration which comes with age... it don't take long really......

I supppse it's all about moving forward into a better frame of mind, a better stage of life, a more accepting attitude toward everything... it's difficult because the problems never ever seem to go away-unfortunately... (and yes we need help and support to do this)

I get stuck in the mud sometimes... i know i need and want to do something... I've had the que... but my initiative falls through... i gotta be more onto the que and initiative... but i hesitate because I'm weighing up potential pros, cons, costs, benefits, pains, pleasures... no risk no reward basically... and doing nothing is the worst outcome...

Thanks for your support Sophia1

[eudemonism]

Nah it's all good @Appleblossom tag me as you wish... for myself it's been living with a diagnosis since 19... apart of my well-being now involves reaching out to others + supporting them at the same time... that give and take thing...

Not many people are socially drawn to me... bit of a loner i suppose you could say... so yea it's always myself reaching out to others... and I've definitely gotta be prepared to accept them as they are or wind up very disappointed-there's good and bad days though...

[Appleblossom]

No worries @eudemonism 

I could see you were out on an edge over a year ago whatever when you had started your "reality" thread. I just liked your tag name.  I am socially drawn to people with serious mental health issues. 

Sometimes, its I feel familiar with similar issues.  Sometimes I feel sorry or pity. Sometimes I am pushed away.  It is what it is.  I try and relate to all comers too, but most "normals" lack the depth when dealing with the stuff that has come my way. I guess as I age I can put into perspective the times I visited dad at the psych ward. I probably relate more to Aspie myself ... 

Its just good to see you perservere with this site and dog and all your creative photography and stuff.

My dad may have lasted but he was over medicated and died of heart attack at 45 in the ward ... hmmmm .... and then there are the coroners systems ... Last week someone was suggesting I submit to the Royal Commission in Mental Illness.  I said I was overwhelmed and already submitted to 2 enquiries.

Maybe you can put your case to the commission. Its on atm.  Google it.  Apparently they were shocked by the actual suicide rate after hospital presentations ... yeah the bodies showing up at the morgue says a lot ... 

I can get pretty dark ... not all Pollyanna-ish.

Its a bigger issue than me or my family or you.  Hope you are alright.

Cheers

[eudemonism]

Yea i could only imagine @Appleblossom just then i was thinking. I'll sue the mental health system for 5 million dollars because of what they've done to me.

In particular dealing with all the medication side effects. I was better off smoking dope. 

Royal commissions in mental health??? Is that it's exact name???

Yea I'm not as over the edge these days. Because I've realised society can't really deal me any harsher sentence then what I've been given. Hence I've accepted it    

[Appleblossom]

Not politically correct but I know what ya mean about dope. @eudemonism   So many double standards.

Personally I am being "a good girl" and taking my neuroleptics and modelling appropriate use of services and meds for my son, but totally pissed that I was made to suffer so much by doctors for 2 decades for having Hep B&C.  I was a slow learner in my teens and it shows in my blodds and I am a good girl and tell them but somehow that meant I was not entitled to basic respect and appropriate medical services.  Talk about stigma.  Eventually a doctor realised I could not have the quals and other history without being a decent person with discipline and ethics and he apologised for previous doctors.  Where is the bloody sense in giving it up in 1982 if I was not allowed to benefit.  They are bloody lucky I am still here and that is in doubt sometimes.

Just googled Royal Comm.... its Andrews govt Victorian ... not sure if thats your area.

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom I'll probably just end up winging and moaning about it for the rest of my life. Because i don't think anything is about to change on my behalf...

Just attend the appointments. Go through with the motions. Do my best to get through each day. Count my blessings...

They have 'done all they could ' they have 'helped quite abit ' I'm just really annoyed at what I'm having to deal with each day... because it's suffering central...

It's all about bottom lines and benchmarks... dont wanna be either really...

[Appleblossom]

The lack of being treated like a whole person is a real problem. @eudemonism 

Nobody wants to be a bottom line or benchmark.

I gained some sense of empowerment by turning that kind of language back on them but on MY terms. I can tell my story in personal terms but also in general work-talk terms. Challenged them to trace the numbers of suicides as a KPI.

Apparently they did and were shocked and hence the Royal Commission.

Recently I mentioned not to underestimate the intelligence and education of the community of people struggling with mental health. We are no longer so isolated even if the internet is the main area of social contact.  Posting on here over the years as helped me gradually get  up to date and out of my own skin re the issues. Learning not to personalise everything is hard. I am not great at it yet.   ..   but getting out of one's skin can be adaptive aspect of dissociation.