Living with absence

[Krishna]

Good morning @Sophia1 I hope today isn’t too draining and all goes well with your appointment. City would leave me overwhelmed. My village has a population of 200 so when going to the nearest big town 40 minutes away leaves me simply wanting to get done what needs doing a return home asap. I may venture to the coast for a float today, making the most of a sunny day and the 1 hour drive through the forest on a dirt road is always calming then an afternoon of rest. Take good care 🙏❤️🌹

[Sophia1]

  Ava na

My. Appointments were Friday over an hour eAch way a long appointment. Then again yesterday Aan hour and a half each way. Just going ti the city traffic, buildings not as many trees drains me. 
I can’t even discuss adult children at moment.

iI am working hard to distract. 
walking more.

Hope that you are feeling calmer

Take care of yourself xx

[Krishna]

Hey @Sophia1  I really hope today has been a better day for you and that you’ve found time to rest and recover from your city appointments. Take good care. Krishna 🙏🌹❤️

[Sophia1]

Hello @Krishna 

I have had a busy time for me. Not the me before I retired. In comparison I have done little.

Sigh again absence..loss..grief.. trauma all zap energy..

I am fed up with writing this stuff actually.

No offence meant to anyone experiencing this. It is very real and intense.. more I want to stop my Ming going there.. stop the chatter..

I seem to be very expertise in practising mindlessness as opposed to mindfulness..

I am starti g to walk more again which is making a huge difference

Getting out of the house I have more clarity momentarily until I am tired.

I was invited to a thread introduction

It has been a blessing in disguise for me

I can be my child again and those there are all doing the same..

Total confusion chaos laughing apologising 

It is an absolute hoot

I feel as though someone has let me out of my cage!

I love spontaneity

It is keeping the depression at bay.

I just have to keep out the tiredness

A gp appointment today

Shoulder where plate is needs more Physiotherapy and stretching. Won’t get full use back

Have to live with that

How are you feeling today?

Been for a swim? The water must be freezing

How does your garden grow?

well check that I have not burnt my curry

speak soon and take care

take it easy still

thinking of you🙏❤️🧚‍♂️

[Krishna]

Hi @Sophia1  Can relate. Tired of experiencing it,,thinking about it, talking about it. Yes zapping energy feeling often lethargic. Swam yesterday and the water was lovely. The hours drive, the swim all a distraction momentarily. Arrive back home, restless and tired. Looking at dust, cobwebs and windows that need a clean and my mind returns to worries. I must make more of an effort to accept what is and move forward. Headaching day two now from muscle strain trying to start the lawnmower Tuesday or perhaps just too much weight on my shoulders. It too shall pass. Garden veg are thriving and camellias showing their pretty faces. Wonga pigeons nesting and doves cooing. Another season in full swing. I really must vacuum now as my home is looking a tad shabby, a reflection of my mood so perhaps if I bring a little sparkle to my home it may bring a little sparkle to my mood. Have a beautiful day Sophia 🙏❤️🌹

[hanami]

Hi @Krishna 

Sorry to hear things feel bleak. I think most of us know that accepting what is and moving forward is what we need to do but we are also allowed to feel what we feel at times too. Do you agree? It can be difficult can't it. I really hope if you add some sparkle to your home, it had a little sparkle to your mood. Wouldn't it be nice if we could dust our minds off of the crappy thoughts and make them shine again.  I did also like your description of your garden with the pigeons, doves, and camelias. It brought some sparkle to my rainy, grey morning here on the east coast.

Hanami 

[Krishna]

Hi @hanami What was a sunny morning here on my part of the east coast has now turned to grey skies and drizzle. I’ve dusted and vacuumed and feeling a little better for it. And yes it is okay to allow ourselves to just sit with our feelings and let our emotions speak and release. In fact it’s quite important that we do. Hoping you have a lovely afternoon despite the grey skies. 🙏❤️

[Sophia1]

Hello @Krishna @hanami 

Dusting is an exercise in moving particles around in the air which have a mind of their own and resettle when not looking.

Add in cat fur

I finally have a cleaner who comes fortnightly. I dust and polish she Hoovers. Cleans the bathrooms but not mirrors or shower screens. Husband does those with a steam cleaner. He also steam cleans the tiled floors. So she doges not do a great deal in 90 minutes.  
sun was out then overcast and cold. Did not complete walk. I had shingles injection yesterday due to my immunity possibly being low. Have very red sore stiff arm and flu like symptoms. This stuff always affects my depression.

Cleaning parts of the house even moving things around can help lift mood temporarily I find.

Do you live in tropical zone as water is warm?

Is your husband affected by your daughter?

You have your son’s support as well. Some comfort.

Sorry not feeling too bright

speak another time

Sophia 🙏🌹

[Krishna]

Take it easy with that arm pain @Sophia1. Depression goes hand in hand with my anxiety this the reason my home was looking neglected. Really had to push myself to do what I’ve done but happy I made the effort. A sense of accomplishment for the day. Now depleted again. Sub tropical by the sea I float in but I’m 800m above sea level where I live so fire has been lit this afternoon. And yes, my darling husband also affected by our girl but not in the same way as me. He works hard physically so has an outlet for his pain and has to remain focused on his work so is very good at acknowledging painful thoughts but then letting them go. Wish I was as skilled in such mind control. Anyways darling, will let you rest and recover. Go gently 🙏❤️🌹

[Krishna]

And a side note @Sophia1. The water is chilly and that’s something I enjoy. Cold water therapy. It makes you feel very alive, is great for your immune system and it also boosts confidence as by submerging in cold water you’re facing a fear. A cold shower after a warm one is just as beneficial. Really lifts your spirits. 🙏